Gay Pride has yet to overturn my heterosexuality

Survived yet another Pride weekend with my heterosexuality intact, despite the repeated propositions and solicitations and one guy saying he wanted to work me like a sock puppet, whatever that means.

I've always said one of the more hilarious tragedies in my life is how disproportionately gay men lust after me relative to straight women. If only the thought of engaging sexually with men wasn't so utterly repellent to me, I would have a substantially busier social life and far more itching and burning.

Stupid genetics.