Wealthy gay radicals, through tyranny, will force me to marry a man against my will

Same-sex ‘marriage’ is a movement driven by wealthy homosexual activists and a liberal elite determined to destroy not only the institution of marriage, but democracy as well.

Curse you, wealthy gay activists. You're trying to undermine my god-approved heterosexual relationships with your gay tyranny. Has the bible taught you nothing, sodomites? If you succeed, I fear I will be forced to...marry a dude?

If the particulars of this argument make no sense to you, it is likely that it's because you're a gay who hates America and freedom. As logic and critical thinking are for abortion-loving communists, this informative PSA full of colorful moving pictures will give better guidance on the issue than a blog post ever could.